What's The Deal With My Trump Voodoo Doll?

So Glad You Asked!!

In case you’ve wondered what the deal is with my Trump voodoo doll, I’d like to fill you in.

Most nights on my Facebook page Thoughts From Aisle 4, at 10 pm NY time, we have one minute where we all think about *CF Trump together. Now, of course I don’t tell anyone what their thoughts should be, but let’s just say mine do not include love and light for him. And if that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

I recently purchased a Trump voodoo doll (skull pins included) from a lovely woman on Etsy and I sometimes include pictures of it. I move the pins around to keep things interesting. Last night my Trump doll had an unfortunate accident with a chair leg. Today it might find itself under my car’s tire. Who knows?

The comments regarding my pictures are usually pretty funny. Someone suggested it’s sort of like Elf of a Shelf, but not. Someone else commented that I needed to have an anvil fall on him. I might just call the Acme Anvil Company later and see if I can purchase one or if the tariffs have made them too expensive.

Speaking of tariffs, it’s looking like I should be dressing my voodoo doll in a red Grinch hat instead of a MAGA one because it’s likely Christmas is going to be somewhat of a bust. Even Trump admitted it, saying “Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls, you know?” But at least we can all wish each other “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays,” so there’s that. And speaking of dolls, I have a feeling that those Trump voodoo dolls could be a hot item this holiday season. Even children can get into it, although I might not let them play with the pins. “Here Jimmy, have fun with your Trump doll because we can’t afford anything else.”

It's starting to dawn on Trump that is all looking really really bad for him. So bad that of course, as predicted, he’s blaming Biden. On Lying Social he posted, “This is Biden’s Stock Market, not Trump’s.” Blah, blah, blah. (I love when he refers to himself in the third person.) When Biden was President and the economy actually was great, Trump took credit for it. Now that it’s falling apart spectacularly, it’s Biden’s fault. Even though it’s OBVIOUSLY directly due to Trump’s tariffs as well as the capriciousness of his directives and policies. And the fact that he has absolutely no idea what he is doing. How can even one person on the planet believe a word he says??

Back to my voodoo doll. I started as a humor writer and although I’ve pivoted to politics, I see no reason why we can’t also laugh at the absurdities which are coming at us at a fast and furious pace. In fact, we need to laugh now more than ever. At the end of the day, when we’ve done other things to make our voices heard, I think it’s okay to join together in thoughts and prayers. It’s entirely possible that the strength of our convictions could shift the equilibrium. I’m not sure what I believe about the power of prayer, but I do know that it certainly can’t hurt.

Perhaps if we work and think hard enough, by Christmas/Chanukah, Trump will be gone. Which would be the greatest gift of all.

See you all at ten tonight! And for those of you protesting today, good luck!

*Convicted Felon

[In case you’re looking for a Mother’s Day Gift for someone you love (or even like), I’ve written three books. “Gained a Daughter But Nearly Lost My Mind: How I Planned a Backyard Wedding During a Pandemic,” “Trapped In My Sports Bra and Other Harrowing Tales,” and “I Was Hoping to Age Like a Fine Wine But I’m Feeling More Like an Avocado.” If you are still buying stuff from Amazon, they are available there. Or the Barnes and Noble website. Or you can ask your local bookstore to order them.]