Did I Mention My Middle Son Is Getting Married?

I Can't Wait And Also, It's Been A Lot

If it seems like I’ve been a tad distracted it could be because my middle son is getting married in the not-too-distant future.

Actually, he’s getting married again- he and his wife had a civil ceremony December 2023. This time around they will be having a Jewish ceremony, chuppah (canopy) and all. Our Rabbi will be officiating- he’s actually schlepping to Detroit which is above and beyond the call of rabbinical duty. I cannot express how much his presence there will mean to me and my family. By the way, your invitation did not get lost in the middle- it’s a small wedding. Sorry about that.

Some of you may recall that my oldest son got married five years ago- during the height of the pandemic. What was supposed to be 220 people in DC turned into 14 people in my backyard. It ended up being the most magical wedding ever which garnered a lot of media attention and even inspired my first book! So yeah, this is not my first wedding rodeo.

This time around there is no pandemic but that doesn’t mean things have been easy. Weddings are fraught with stress no matter how you slice it. So many details. So much to think about. I have a list of all the things I need to bring with me when we go to Detroit- the kids’ rings which they had polished, my late father-in-law’s tallis (prayer shawl) for the top of the chuppah, etc.

But what I would like to discuss today is how different (and unequal) my husband’s preparation for this event has been from my own. He will be wearing the tux he bought and didn’t get to wear for my oldest son’s wedding (although he has worn it to many other weddings). Oh- he’s also planning on getting a haircut. That’s it (she writes bitterly). By the way, no matter how much his weight fluctuates, that tux seems to fit him. It’s like magic. If I gain six ounces, I’m sunk.

I started my wedding prep journey around Christmas when I ordered a dress (if you live around here and need a special occasion dress dm me for more info). The dress arrived at the store in April which is when I started fittings. I think there were four in all. They were very strict about me arriving for my fittings with the proper undergarments (shapewear)and footwear. Although I will wear shoes for pictures I plan on changing into sneakers for the party. Which horrified the fancy people at the dress place. I did order a new pair of black On Clouds, so I’m not sure what their beef was. I am part of the “I do not care club” that really doesn’t care about looking perfect; I want to be as comfortable as one can be in a gown situation. I wish I could just wear my jeans that are actually more like sweatpants, but my son and daughter-in-law vetoed that idea. In my opinion, weddings should be “come as you are” although how I am on a regular basis is admittedly a tad scary.

About the shapewear- I bought light control because I refuse to feel like a sausage. I’ve been trying to diet, but it’s gotten harder and harder to shed the weight.

I will need to get my hair colored before the Big Day. No grey roots for me! I already got a pedicure, but a manicure remains on my to-do list. For the record, the last manicure I got was almost 11 years ago, when my youngest son had his bar mitzvah.

I need to figure out how to travel with my dress without getting it too wrinkled. I would have shipped it to Detroit but with my luck it would end up in NJ like the dress I purchased a year ago. In case it does wrinkle, I contacted a dry cleaner in Detroit which can steam it when I get there.

Btw, I forgot to get Botox. Actually I didn’t forget, I just did not do it. While getting my pedicure the other day, I overheard two women talking about the work they were going to do on their faces. Eye lifts, fillers, etc. And I started to feel a little badly about myself. But then I got over it. I can always revisit the Botox subject when my last son gets married but knowing me I will just buy a new handbag and hope it distracts from my wrinkles.

The day of the wedding I will be getting my hair and makeup done. And I am sure I will need touch ups throughout the day because it will be a thousand degrees in Michigan plus I still get hot flashes. At some point during the evening I may just call it a day and wash my face because I truly hate being made up.

My Turkey Toddler grandson will be the ring bearer, and I can’t think of anything cuter than a little boy in a tux.

So yeah, it’s been a lot. But I do know that when my husband and I walk my son to the chuppah and watch him exchange vows with his bride, all of the stress and angst leading up to that moment will have been worth it. We dream of our children finding their person and being happy. And when they do, even wearing compression undergarments isn’t so bad.